Brought Back 2009

You've brought me back.

Back from a place of sorrow and pain.
how is that possible?

That's my only question.

You're soul is clearer than you think,
just take a look inside.

You've brought me back.

you took my hand and
held me close while
I cried through the pain.

Im glad to call you a friend
because, you've been by my
side through all the pain,
That I was absorbed in.

for: Austin James Conner  (Smiley)

The End!!!!! 2009

Dressed in red,
Caps and gowns,
Walking across the stage,
receiving diplomas,
shaking the principals hand.

Cheering at the end
with tears in our eyes.

One last final celebration
before we go our separate ways,
pictures by the dozens,
with friends and family.

When the principal
announces us as
"Northwest High Schools
Senior Class of 2009.

Why me? 2009

Why is my life this way?

Why is it falling apart?

Tell me the reasons why
this is happening.

Can someone take this
pain from me?

My heart is breaking,
my soul is shattered.

2 Complete Opposites 2009

You love the coldest winds of winter.
I love the hottest rays of summer.

We both love the outdoors.
But, do different things.
you work on cars,
I relax in the sun.

My place is neat and clean,
While yours, is cluttered and messy.
You work with your hands
But, I go shopping.

You're very hyper and outgoing,
I am calm and keep to myself.

We are so similar yet, so different.

Two complete opposites
of the same whole.

Solitude 2009

School is over for the day,
walking through the door,
finally able to relax
and absorb myself in the
nice, quiet confines of my own space.

Music loud,
drowning out all other noise.
Doing homework, reading, writing,
or drawing.

Escaping the world along
with any other worries
even for a few minutes or hours,
Just to get away.

My kind of heaven.

His Ring 2009

His ring sits around my neck
solid with its imperfections,
reminding me of the reasons
why I love him.

A calm smooth silver sitting in the
darkness of the night sky.

Faced with a stone that
places you in its trance very
much like the eyes of a lone wolf.

Love 2009

Do you know how much I love you?

Will you truly ever know?

It makes me wonder about
what goes through your mind
every time you see me, kiss me,
hold me, or touch me.

I love you with every part
of my being.

I don't want you to leave.
But, I can't change what is
in your near future.

I can't help but think about our
future, me here and you so very
far away, makes me want to cry.

Now you know, how much I love you.

Why? 2009

Eyes filled with tears,
called out of class.
Teachers were crying,
telling me daddy was
coming to get me.

Mommy is gone,
Buried by the rubble,
not coming home,
in a better place now.
Sitting in daddies arms,
just crying.


In remembrance of all of the lives lost on that fateful day. Sept.11,2001

No Love 2009

I've been lonely for so long,
too long to be able to survive
without some kind of love in
my life.
        Not just friends,
        Not just family,
        But something more
        from someone that needs me and
        wants me,
        not just to use me
        and throw me away like before.
But, I guess that will
never happen for me.
Because, right now it doesn't
sound at all possible.

Poetry 2010

Sitting here,
absorbing all that he saying,
learning more about the thing
that consumes my mind
more and more each day.

Poetry,
different types,
different ways to put
it down on paper,
different ways to
express your thoughts
and innermost feelings.

Watching and hearing
the reactions of my readers.

King of Kings 2010

He died for your sins
yet, you continue to
push him away.

He allowed people to
stone him, He drug
the cross that they
nailed him to.
His precious head
bore a crown of thorns.

Which, pronounced him:
"King of Kings"

Broken and fixed 2009

You doubted what we had
and, you didn't end it til
you thought it was the
'right time'.

I gave you my heart,
you shredded it into
pieces, leaving it to
bleed on the ground.

He took that same
shredded heart and
fixed it.

He gave me the chance
to love again, when after
you took it, I didn't have it,
feel it, or even have the
chance to think about it.

Thoughts 2010

What are your thoughts,
when you look at the sky?

The dark rain-filled clouds?

With the cool, crisp, bitter
wind blowing in your face,
like needles pricking
your skin.

Summer Time 2009

Summer time,
is for fun and
long days under the sun.

Summer time,
is a time to relax and
enjoy the extra time
to be outdoors.

Summer time,
is getting closer.

Which means graduation
for current seniors.

Tears, laughter, and
celebration one last time
before its time to move forward
in beginning the next big
part in our lives.

Summer time.

Every time 2010

Every time I see you
my heart skips a beat,
my palms get all sweaty,
and my breath is taken away.

Every time you look at me
I'm like a deer caught in the headlights,
I'm in aw that we are together,
and I'm amazed that you are mine.

Every time that we say goodnight
I just want you too call back,
Even if we have nothing to say,
Just knowing that you are there
makes me feel safe and content.

You. 2009

Your eyes remind me
of the mid-day skies
clear of all clouds.

The way you look
at me with those eyes
makes me realize just
how much you truly
love me.

The way your arms
wrap around me
tells me just how
much you really
care for me.

What Happens.....? 2010

Lightning strikes,
thunder claps,
the sun rises then sets,
the moon has many
phases it goes through.

But, what does the
heart do when it finds
love, is in love, or falls
out of love?

Does it skip a beat,
does it flutter nonstop,
or does it shatter into
a million pieces?

Lost Happiness 2010

How long will it be
before my smile
will return?

I just want it back.

Will someone find
away to return it
to me?

How much longer
will it be?

That smile is
because of my
happiness,
and now that
happiness is gone.

I hope someone
will find it, soon.

Confusion 2010

Darkness looms near,
I can feel it.
Will it go away?
I have no idea.

Why is it so close?
Does it have a specific
purpose for being this
close to my heart?

What is the meaning
of it being here and
existing so near to me?

Just leave 2010

Dark as night,
thougth to be long gone,
whispers in my ear,
make me shiver and
cringe away from my
worst nightmare.

Cries out in despair,
wants to be left alone.
'Just leave', I say.
But, It never will.

Tears 2010

They fall down
your face.

Happy, sad, angry,
or even just because.

leaving water
marks on
your cheeks.

Tears.

Thirst 2008

Running through
your veins
giving you life.

Crimson red,
salty-sweet.
makes me
long for more.

Mouth-watering,
drives me crazy.

Just watching
you sit there,
knowing that
its never enough.

Leaving 2008

Leaving is the easy part
it's the saying goodbye
thats hard to do.

For some both are simple
enough to deal with.
But, for those like me
neither are as simple
as they may seem.
Instead they are twice
as hard to handle.

The pain is hard to cope with
but hiding it is even worse,
crying is something that no one
likes to show.
So instead, the pillow is the
only one knowing how hard
it is for me to leave you behind
a new place and new faces.

I tried 2007

I try to be a better person
for myself and my family
I try to do whats right for
me and my heart.
I try to make him smile,
so I wouldn't feal so sad
and lonely.
I try to see the problem that
isn't even there, to know
and try to figure out whats
wrong with this.
                  

I tried so hard.

Because of You 2008

Because of you I've never
cried myself to sleep at night
Because of you I sleep silently now.
                     No tossing and turning,
                     No more dreaming of
                     what could have been.
Because of you I'm not
afraid of being alone.
                     No worring about
                     what tomorrow will
                     bring.
                     No more thinking of
                     what could have been.

My Pain 2010

You look in my eyes

and see the pain I have had

to endure,

The sadness I have had

to hide.

The help that I desperatly

needed and wanted

but was too scared to seek out

was never received.

This broken heart

is hard to heal

even when I try to feel like

I am unbroken.

I tried to keep

my broken heart

from your utterly perfect one.

But, to no anvil have I accomplished it.

Deserted 2008

My friends are gone

they have deserted me

they have left me in the dark

to find my way blind.

Im miserable all on my own

Im trapped in that old deserted

but crowded room.

My fears have returned

to hide in my thoughts

and dreams to make me

scream, to make me

hurt in agony.

They are twisting my

heart, making it crumble

to pieces, eating at my soul,

watching my life dwindle away

before my very eyes.

what is left of me?
                 

Nothing.



Companion to "Trapped"

Trapped 2008

Trapped in a crowded room

too small for even one breath,

Trapped in an empty car

not even close to my destination,

Someone save me, come and help me

out of this place that I've called my home.

Trapped in a place that seems

too small to even move

too small to even cry myself

to sleep at night.

I need to escape from

this crowded space

so I can believe in myself

and have nothing to fear.